Authors Note: Ahhh!
I looked out on the bustling streets of my home and watched as the local merchants sold their jewels, tapestries and food to those who took interest. Yet as much as I would go and be amongst the humans I could not convince myself or beat my fear to do what I desire.
I couldn’t risk seeing her again, I couldn’t risk feeling the connection of my love, my mate and then fall in love with her all over again just for her to be ripped from my arms and lose her. Maribella, Lillybell, always a name that had bell in it the last was Jasminella and oh had I loved her. But I watched helpless, in pieces as those brutes snapped her neck and made me watch as the life fled from her caramel eyes. It broke me, it broke me to the very core as it was my fault they had found out and I have not left home since.
I had Tia, my beloved sister of venom that Amun had changed for me. He had intended her to be my mate, or lover, a thing to take my mind off my pain but it was not meant to be. She was the only one who understood my fear, of my pain in losing my love as she too had lost someone she loved with all her heart.
“Benjamin…” The soft voice of Kebi pulled me from my thoughts, it was rare she spoke; she had been a slave when human and they had taken her tongue. She was dying when Amun found her lying in the mud, bloody and broken.
“You mustn’t fear, if you let fear rule you; you will never truly be happy. Always living in the shadows of the dark and missing those who bring you joy.” She whispered, moving to my side and brushing the hair from my face. She was like a mother to me, making sure I was comfortable, the kindness she showed.
“I cannot go through the pain again. Not till I know she can be safe.” I whisper, turning back to the window. “I have lost her three times in my life of finding her, the last was my fault; you know this, you found me.” I hissed out, the anger seeping forward in my emotions overtaking the numbness I had built at the memories of the night.
“Then I will let you be, we are going to hunt we will return shortly.” She whispered before leaving the room just as quickly as she came.
With a sigh I watched them leave, Tia casting me a sad look from the entrance wave before following our maker. When alone I let my memories of my mate drift forward, my mind relaying every ‘I love you’ and sacred moment we had together. Closing my eyes I brought forth my favourite memory.
The sun shone down upon me, warming my skin. My stomach churned with nerves for she was seeing me in the sun for the first time, our first time together out from the cover of darkness.
Laughter filled the air as Lillybell watched me from the quilt I had laid down upon the wheat that grew near her village. It was the only place we could meet without being seen by others as she was intended for another to save her home and a place where I could lay in the sun for her.
“Benjamin, come lay, I wish to see you shine closely.” She called, her voice not one of fear but that of adoration and amusement. The nerves vanished as I moved to her side, her hand instantly resting on my face.
I closed my eyes and smiled as I savoured the sensation of her soft hands caress my face lovingly.
“You were afraid I was going to find you a monster, a demon… I could not think of you in such a way, you have shown me nothing but love and kindness, no beast could feel such pure emotions like you. You need not to fear my Benjamin.” She cooed softly, placing a loving kiss upon my brow.
“Only you would think that my little bell… Others would scream in fear, curse me and burn me with fire if they surely knew the truth.” I tell her with a dark chuckle, causing her to shake her head.
“Then they are fools, fools of blindness. You may be a monster to them, but to me you are my love, now Benjamin do not fear I would leave you.” She cooed…
A grunt, a painful moan escaped my lips, my hand clutching my chest in hollow agony before hissing, gasping in shock as the familiar faint pull thumped in my chest, the familiar thump of a shadowed heartbeat that caused me to growl out in agony. My hands grasped the window frame in my rage before the red tint took over.
NO, I refuse to feel this agony again! I refuse, I can’t… I just can’t take that pain!
“WHY DO YOU CURSE ME HATHOR?” I scream, the stones built around me rumbling, I could hear townspeople screaming as the earth shook in my rage. Fire burst forth from my hands as I slammed them to the ground.
“BENJAMIN!” I heard Tia scream, her voice full of fear over the rush of water that swirled around me.
“STOP! BENJAMIN!” Amun roared, he too fearful. I couldn’t, I didn’t want to. I wanted the earth to swallow me, the very flames that glowed around me to devour me, the water to drown me and for the air to suffocate me, but they wouldn’t. I was cursed with the gift of elements; I was cursed to be un-killable. I was their master and they would not harm me no matter how much I tried.
I felt Amun’s hands on me, wet and grainy his voice whispering his sorrows as I felt my head being ripped from my body screams silently leaving my body. The rumbles stop, the elements fall and all I could hear was weeping, and cries of pain.
Benjamin… Why… the voice of my love whispered sadly, the scent of blackberry and figs filling my senses as her warmth surrounded me, taking me off into the darkness once again. I could feel my heart clench even as it rested feet before me, oh god… what have I done…
Author Note: Poor Benjamin..